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Goodfellas Quotes From the Iconic 1990s Mob Film

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Goodfellas Quotes

Photo credit to Wikipedia

The rise and fall of three prominent mobsters is the subject of the highly acclaimed 1990 crime thriller Goodfellas. Here are some of Henry’s, Jimmy’s, Tommy’s, and other characters’ most memorable, harshest, and funniest Goodfellas quotes.

Which scene from Goodfellas is your favorite?

Goodfellas, directed by Martin Scorsese, stars Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro, and Joe Pesci as Henry Hill, James “Jimmy” Conway, and Tommy DeVito, respectively. The movie has won a lot of awards, including Best Film, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay at the British Academy Film Awards.

Goodfellas spawned a renaissance in the gangster genre and filmmaking worldwide because of its realistic portrayals and innovative editing style. As a result, the United States Library of Congress added the picture to the National Film Registry in 2000.

Do you want to relive the highs and lows of the film Goodfellas? Take a peek at the following quotes!

Also, take a look at these Godfather quotes about devotion and family.

Quotes from Henry Hill in the film Goodfellas

1. “As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

2. “To me being a gangster was better than being president of the United States.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

3. “One day some of the kids from the neighborhood carried my mother’s groceries all the way home. You know why? It was outta respect.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

4. “You know, we always called each other goodfellas. Like you said to, uh, somebody, “You’re gonna like this guy. He’s all right. He’s a goodfella. He’s one of us.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

5. “Whenever we needed money, we’d rob the airport. To us, it was better than Citibank.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

6. “If we wanted something, we just took it. If anyone complained twice they got hit so bad, believe me, they never complained again.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

Goodfellas Quotes

7. “For a second I thought I was dead. But, when I heard all the noise, I knew they were cops. Only cops talk that way. If they’d been wiseguys, I wouldn’t have heard a thing. I would’ve been dead.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

8. “Anything I wanted was a phone call away. Free cars. The keys to a dozen hideout flats all over the city. I bet twenty, thirty grand over a weekend and then I’d either blow the winnings in a week or go to the sharks to pay back the bookies.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

9. “We ran everything. We paid off cops. We paid off lawyers. We paid off judges. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. And now it’s all over.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

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10. “To us those goody-good people who worked s**tty jobs for bum paychecks and took the subway to work and worried about bills, were dead. They were suckers. They had no balls.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

11. “If you’re part of a crew, nobody ever tells you that they’re going to kill you, doesn’t happen that way.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

12. “Killing’s got to be accepted. Murder was the only way that everybody stayed in line. You got out of line, you got whacked. Everybody knew the rules.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

13. “Your murderers come with smiles, they come as your friends, the people who’ve cared for you all of your life. And they always seem to come at a time that you’re at your weakest and most in need of their help.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

14. “When you think of prison you get pictures in your mind of all those old movies with rows and rows of guys behind bars. It wasn’t like that for wiseguys.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

15. “We had to sit still and take it. It was among the Italians. It was real greaseball shit. They even shot Tommy in the face so his mother couldn’t give him an open-casket funeral.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

16. “Thirty-two hundred dollars he gave me. Thirty-two hundred dollars for a lifetime. It wasn’t even enough to pay for the coffin.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

17. “It was easy for all of us to disappear. My house was in my mother-in-law’s name. My cars were registered to my wife. My social security cards and driver’s licenses were phonies. I never voted. I never paid taxes. My birth certificate and my arrest sheet… that’s all you’d ever have to know I was alive.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

18. “Jimmy was the kind of guy that rooted for bad guys in the movies.” – Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)

Goodfellas quotes by Jimmy Conway and Tommy DeVito

19. “Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.” – Jimmy Conway (Robert De Niro)

Goodfellas Quotes

20. “Look what this f**king mutt did to my shoes.” – Jimmy Conway (Robert De Niro)

21. “Stop with those f**king drugs. They’re making your mind into mush. You hear me? Take ’em back!” – Jimmy Conway (Robert De Niro)

22. “She’ll never divorce him. She’ll kill him but she won’t divorce him.” – Jimmy Conway (Robert De Niro)

23. “Come on f**kos. Let’s go for a ride.” – Jimmy Conway (Robert De Niro)

24. “I’m funny how?  Funny, like, I’m a clown?  I amuse you?” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

25. “You’d be late to your own f**king funeral.” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

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26. “Hey, Spider, that f**kin’ bandage on your foot is bigger than your f**kin’ head.” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

27. “All right, so he got shot in the foot, what is it, a big f**kin’ deal? – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

28. “Good shot. What do you want from me? Good shot. F**kin’ rat anyway. His family’s all rats. He’ll grow up to be a rat.” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

29. “Hey, what do you like, the leg or the wing, Henry? Or ya still go for the old hearts and lungs?” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

30. “All right, so he got shot in the foot, what is it, a big f**kin’ deal?” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

31. “Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I’m free the next morning.” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

32. “What, do you got me on a f**kin’ pay-no-mind list, kid?” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

33. “Hey, Henry, Henry, hurry up, will ya? My mother’s gonna make some fried peppers and sausage for us.” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

34. “You know Spider, you’re a f**kin’ mumbling stuttering little f**k. You know that?” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

35. “I didn’t want to get blood on your floor.” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

Goodfellas Quotes

36. “You’re hanging around my f**kin’ neck like a vulture, like impending danger.” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

37. “What am I, a mirage?” – Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci)

Don’t forget to keep yourself entertained with these Gladiator quotes and quips.

Karen Hill quotes from the film Goodfellas

38. “Yeah, I’m crazy.  Crazy enough to kill the both of you.” – Karen Hill (Lorraine Bracco)

39. “I’m going to tell everybody who walks in this building that in 2R, Rossi, you’re nothing but a whore!” – Karen Hill (Lorraine Bracco)

40. “Wake up, Henry.” – Karen Hill (Lorraine Bracco)

41. “You got some nerve standing me up like that last night! Nobody does that to me! Who the Hell do you think you are? Frankie Valli or some kinda bigshot?” – Karen Hill (Lorraine Bracco)

42. “But still I couldn’t hurt him. How could I hurt him? I couldn’t even bring myself to leave him. The truth was that no matter how bad I felt I was still very attracted to him. Why should I give him to someone else? Why should she win?” – Karen Hill (Lorraine Bracco)

43. “Our husbands weren’t brain surgeons, they were blue-collar guys. The only way they could make extra money, real extra money, was to go out and cut a few corners.” – Karen Hill (Lorraine Bracco)

44. “It was rough seeing the wives of other gangsters. They did not take care of themselves; they looked beat up and their faces were caked with makeup. Most of the time was spent talking about how rotten their kids were; how they decked them or whipped them with electrical wiring and the kids still wouldn’t pay attention.” – Karen Hill (Lorraine Bracco)

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45. “I know there are women, like my best friends, who would have gotten out of there the minute their boyfriend gave them a gun to hide. But I didn’t. I got to admit the truth. It turned me on.” – Karen Hill (Lorraine Bracco)

46. “When we went to the Islands or Vegas to vacation, we always went together. No outsiders, ever. It got to be normal. It got to where I was even proud that I had the kind of husband who was willing to go out and risk his neck just to get us the little extras.” – Karen Hill (Lorraine Bracco)

Goodfellas quotes by others

47. “Don’t buy wigs that come off at the wrong time.” – Morrie (Chuck Low)

48. “Hey! F**k ’em! F**k ’em in the ear! What are you talking about? F**k ’em in the other ear, that son of a b*tch! Did I ever bust his balls? Did I? Did I? I could’ve jumped the dime a million times, and I wouldn’t have to pay tip!” – Morrie (Chuck Low)

49. “Why don’t you boys go down to Wall Street and find some real crooks? Whoever sold you those suits had a wonderful sense of humor.” – Tuddy Cicero (Frank DiLeo)

50. “The way I saw it, everybody takes a beating sometime.” – Young Henry (Christopher Serrone)

Also, for the ultimate ride-or-die couple, check out these amusing Bonnie and Clyde quotes.

When was the last time you were a glutton for punishment?

Let’s face it: there are many lessons in The Godfather that you won’t want to apply to your own life. While it’s crucial to prioritize your family and maintain loyalty as a character trait that you can identify with, you won’t want to go to the extremes that the movie characters do.

These Godfather quotes can serve as a reminder to be loyal, as well as a good friend and family member. Reading through them can be enjoyable. They might even persuade you to revisit the film series or give it a shot for the first time.

Did these Godfather quotes and lines make you laugh? Which of the following quotes do you find the most inspiring? Let us know what happened in the comments section below. We’d like to know everything there is to know.

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Ron Burgundy Quotes that Will Make You Laugh

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Ron Burgundy Quotes

These Ron Burgundy quotes are perfect for those moments when you need something stupid to make you chuckle.

Anchorman is a film about Ron Burgundy, a 1970s news anchorman in San Diego, played by none other than Will Ferrell. When the station hires a female anchor, he has a difficult time. She moves into his space while he and the other “anchormen” keep being macho.

The film is a comedy, as evidenced by the presence of Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd, and Steve Carrell in the cast. It’s also one with lines that are so foolish and stupid that you can’t help but chuckle at them.

We’ve compiled a list of amusing Ron Burgundy quotes that will make you laugh right now. Enjoy!

Ron Burgundy

Photo credit to CNN

If you like Will Ferrell, you should also check out our Elf quotes and these hilarious Talladega Nights quotes.

Funny Ron Burgundy quotes

1. “I love scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.” – Ron Burgundy

2. “OK before we start, let’s go over the ground-rules … No touching of the hair or face … And THAT’S IT. Now FIGHT!” – Ron Burgundy

3. “I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.” – Ron Burgundy

4. “Well if you were a man, I’d punch you. Punch you right in the mouth.” – Ron Burgundy

5. “I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the baby maker.” – Ron Burgundy

6. “I’m in a glass case of emotion!” – Ron Burgundy

7. “Mmm. I look good. I mean, really good. Hey, everyone! Come and see how good I look!” – Ron Burgundy

8. “Don’t act like you’re not impressed.” – Ron Burgundy

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9. “It’s terrible. She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon!” – Ron Burgundy

10. “Hello? Who’s there, I’m talkin? Hello? Who is this? Baxter… is that you? Baxter! Bark twice if you’re in Milwaukee… Is this Wilt Chamberlain? Have the courage to say something! Hello?” – Ron Burgundy

This neurotic George Costanza quotes about nothing might also appeal to you.

Popular hilarious Ron Burgundy quotes

11. “It’s so damn hot. Milk was a bad choice.” – Ron Burgundy

Ron Burgundy Quotes

12. “You know how to cut to the core of me Baxter. You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.” – Ron Burgundy

13. “What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese? How’d you do that? Heck, I’m not even mad; that’s amazing.” – Ron Burgundy

14. “I’m kind of a big deal. People know me.” – Ron Burgundy

15. “Oh Audrey – I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes. What’s that? Well if you were a man, I’d punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That’s bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? AUDREY! LOOK AT ME! I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Alright?” – Ron Burgundy

16. “I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?” – Ron Burgundy

17. “Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.” – Ron Burgundy

18. “You stay classy, San Diego. I’m Ron Burgundy?” – Ron Burgundy

19. “If you want to throw down in fisticuffs, fine, I’ve got Jack Johnson and Tom O’Leary waitin’ for ya…right here!” – Ron Burgundy

20. “I’m not a baby! I’m a man! An ANCHORMAN!” – Ron Burgundy

Also, check out these amusing Minion quotes to brighten your day.

Ron Burgundy quotes: one-liners

21. “Sweet Lincoln’s mullet!” – Ron Burgundy

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22. “Son of a bee-sting!” – Ron Burgundy

23. “Knights of Columbus, that hurt!” – Ron Burgundy

24. “By the beard of Zeus!” – Ron Burgundy

Ron Burgundy Quotes

More Ron Burgundy quotes and Anchorman quotes

25. “It is anchorman, not anchorlady. And that is a scientific fact.” – Ron Burgundy

26. “They’ve done studies, you know. 60 percent of the time, it works every time.” – Ron Burgundy

27. “Hey, where’d you get those clothes, the toilet store?” – Ron Burgundy

28. “You look like a blueberry.” – Ron Burgundy

Ron Burgundy Quotes

29. “Hey, you’re making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk!” – Ron Burgundy

30. “Oh Ron, there are literally thousands of other men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 percent sure that I love you.” – Ron Burgundy

Are you laughing yet?

Most of these Ron Burgundy quotes will leave you scratching your head if you haven’t seen the movie before. They simply won’t make sense outside of the context of the film. But, if you’ve seen and enjoyed the film, I’m sure you’re laughing right now.

When you’ve had a particularly trying day, you may simply require an escape from the outside world and a chance for your brain to rest. If you’ve had a day like that, I recommend watching Anchorman or a similar film and letting the humor take over.

Did you find these Ron Burgundy quotes amusing? Which of the following quotes is your personal favorite? Please share your thoughts in the comments box below.

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Father’s Quotes

Daily Brightside



fathers day

A father is both his son’s and daughter’s first idol and love. These father quotes to honor all that is admirable about fathers.

These phrases may appear cliched or as if they were written for a greeting card, yet they are actually very accurate for the majority of us.

Dads are a source of inspiration for many people since they play such an important and distinctive role in the family.

Most of us go through life knowing that we don’t need anyone else quite like our father.

He is always there for us, no matter what stage of life we are in or what our current circumstances are.

Fathers always seem to know what to say, from learning to ride a bike to choosing a college, buying a home, and starting a family of their own.

“The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family.” – Reed Markham

Fathers Day Messages and Success Quotes

You will be inspired by these Father’s Day quotes. Father’s Day is a celebration that celebrates paternity, paternal connections, and the impact of dads in society.

Father’s Day in History.

On July 5, 1908, the first Father’s Day was held for the first time at the Williams Memorial Methodist Episcopal Church South in Fairmont, West Virginia.

A “Father’s Day” ceremony was held, despite the fact that it was not technically a day, thanks to the efforts of a woman named Grace Golden Clayton. Mrs. Clayton had inquired of her pastor, Dr. R. Thomas Webb, about holding a Sunday service to commemorate Dad.

Despite the fact that Mrs. Clayton’s own father had died in 1896, she wished to have a memorial ceremony for the more than 200 fathers who had died in the Monongah mining explosion, which occurred a few miles south of Fairmont on December 6, 1907.

More than 360 men and boys were killed in the deadliest mining accident in US history, and more than 1,000 children in the area were left without a father.

Despite the fact that the Fairmont service was the first known to commemorate fathers, it would take a few more years for the concept of honoring fathers to catch on.

Mrs. Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington, is credited with setting in motion the chain of events that resulted in Father’s Day being a national holiday in the United States.

“A father is nether an anchor to hold us back nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way.” – Unknown

fathers day Quotes

Mrs. Dodd felt it was only proper and fair that fathers be recognized in the same way as mothers after hearing a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909.

After her mother died giving birth to their sixth child, her father, William Smart, raised his six children alone on his farm in Washington.

Mrs. Dodd requested of the Spokane Ministerial Association and the YMCA that they hold a “Father’s Day” in his honor. The 5th of June was chosen as the date because it was her father William’s birthday.

The concept was well received; some Spokane clergymen requested that the date be modified to allow them more time to write sermons on dads.

The first Father’s Day in Spokane, Washington, was observed on June 19, 1910 (the third Sunday in June).

It became an annual event in that town, and neighboring communities rapidly followed suit, holding their own celebrations.

Father’s Day did not become a national holiday for many years, despite considerable popular support.

The first bill was introduced in Congress in 1913, with President Woodrow Wilson’s support, but it failed to pass.

In 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed a proclamation designating the third Sunday in June as a national day to commemorate fathers. President Richard Nixon signed it into law in 1972, and it has been an official, permanent national holiday ever since.

In honor of Father’s Day – and Dads everywhere – we’ve put together a list of the very finest quotes about fathers. Keep reading to find the perfect way to say “thank you” in your Father’s Day card this year.

“A father is someone you look up to, no matter how tall you grow.” – Unknown


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fathers day Quotes

Fathers and Sons Quotes

  • A father’s relationship with his son is unlike any other.
  • There is no greater hero for a little boy than his father! The bond between sons and their fathers is quite close, from clothing like him to standing like him and adopting his mannerisms.
  • As we become older, our views of both of our parents – particularly our father – might fluctuate and evolve.
  • While you may come to realize that your father isn’t quite the unstoppable hero you previously imagined he was, he has played an important role in molding you into the guy you are now.
  • Your Dad is a key role model at home and at work, and the example he established for parenthood is the one you will carry forward in your own life as you become a father.
  • A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be. ~ Frank A. Clark
  • My father didn’t tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it.  ~ Clarence Budington Kelland
  • “Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice.” – Charles Kettering
  • It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~ Johann Friedrich Von Schiller
  • For thousands of years, father and son have stretched wistful hands across the canyon of time. ~ Alan Valentine
  • My father taught me a good lesson: Don’t get too low when things go wrong. And don’t get too high when things are good. ~ Robert Parish
  • My father taught me not to overthink things, that nothing will ever be perfect, so just keep moving and do your best. ~ Scott Eastwood
  • “We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.” – Alexander Pope
  • It is not flesh and blood, but heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~ Friedrich von Schiller
  • With sons and fathers, there’s an inexplicable connection and imprint that your father leaves on you. ~ Brad Pitt
  • Every son quotes his father, in words and in deeds. ~ Terri Guillemets
  • My father used to say that ‘it’s never too late to do anything you wanted to do. You never know what you can accomplish until you try.’ ~ Michael Jordan
  • Every son’s first superhero is his father, and it was the same for me. For me, he was Superman and Batman combined. ~ Tiger Shroff
  • “When my father didn’t have my hand, he had my back.” – Linda Poindexter

fathers day Quotes

Dads and Daughters Quotes

  • Dads have an important part in their daughters’ lives as well.
  • Little girls understand that no one can protect and cherish them as much as Daddy.
  • According to a study, positive father-daughter connections are associated with women becoming more assertive, self-reliant, and successful in both their academic and professional lives.
  • They also foster connections that are healthier, more meaningful, and last longer.
  • Her father is the girl’s first love, and he is a constant presence throughout her life. He’ll always be a source of advice and support for her, and his concerns and ideas will always be valued.
  • “A little girl giggles when she is denied an ice-cream by her mother. She knows daddy will get her some later.” – Unknown
  • Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~ Gloria Naylor
  • No one in this world can love a girl more than her father. ~ Michael Ratnadeepak
  • To be the father of growing daughters is to understand something of what Yeats evokes with his imperishable phrase ‘terrible beauty.’ Nothing can make one so happily exhilarated or so frightened: it’s a solid lesson in the limitations of self to realize that your heart is running around inside someone else’s body. It also makes me quite astonishingly calm at the thought of death: I know whom I would die to protect and I also understand that nobody but a lugubrious serf can possibly wish for a father who never goes away. ~ Christopher Hitchens
  • You fathers will understand. You have a little girl. She looks up to you. You’re her oracle. You’re her hero. And then the day comes when she gets her first permanent wave and goes to her first real party, and from that day on, you’re in a constant state of panic. ~ Stanley T. Banks
  • “It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.” – John Sinor
  • When I come home, my daughter will run to the door and give me a big hug, and everything that’s happened that day just melts away. ~ Hugh Jackman
  • There’s something like a line of gold thread running through a man’s words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~ John Gregory Brown
  • I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father’s equal, and I never loved any other man as much. ~ Hedy Lamarr
  • A daughter may outgrow your lap but she’ll never outgrow your heart. ~ Unknown
  • “The greatest thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.” – Elaine S. Dalton
Don’t forget to check out these quotes >>  Hippie Motivational Quotes that Inspire Positivity

Quotes for Dads

  • If there’s one thing the history of Father’s Day teaches us, it’s that the third Sunday in June is meant to honor all fathers, not just our own.
  • We all know that not everyone has a good relationship with their father. Father’s Day, on the other hand, can be a moment to honor those male role models who have helped you achieve your goals by supporting and encouraging you.
  • Taking on the role of a father — whether as an adopted father, a stepfather, or a mentor – is a long and difficult commitment that thousands of individuals joyfully make on a daily basis.
  • On Father’s Day, whatever your family looks like, it’s nice to express your gratitude.
  • “I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.” – Umberto Eco
  • Every dad, if he takes time out of his busy life to reflect upon his fatherhood, can learn ways to become an even better dad. ~ Jack Baker
  • The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. ~ Reed Markham
  • Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it. ~ Mike Myers
  • “The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature.” – Prevost Abbe
  • He was a father. That’s what a father does. Eases the burdens of those he loves. Saves the ones he loves from painful last images that might endure for a lifetime. ~ George Saunders
  • The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. ~ Richard Bach
  • A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. ~ Ziad K. Abdelnour
  • “Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then. It’s a love without end.” – George Strait
Don’t forget to check out these quotes >>  Father and Son Quotes to Strengthen Your Bond Together

Remembering Dad

  • The pain of losing a father is unimaginable. Dads serve as protectors, heroes, buddies, and sources of inspiration, among other things.
  • Father’s Day can be an especially hard and upsetting holiday for individuals who have lost their fathers. It is, however, a wonderful time to reflect on all of your happy recollections of your father.
  • His influence and memories will continue to shape you long after he is gone, no matter how long he was in your life.“This is the price you pay for having a great father. You get the wonder, the joy, the tender moments – and you get the tears at the end, too.” – Harlan Coben
  • A father’s love is forever imprinted on his child’s heart. ~ Jennifer Williamson
  • That man is a success – who has lived well, laughed often and loved much, who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of children, who has filled his niche and accomplished his task. who leaves the world better than he found it, who has never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it, who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had. ~ Unknown
  • The loss of my father will always sting. But now, everything that I do is in honor of him and celebrates his life. ~Adrienne C. Moore
  • “No matter how old we are, we still need our dads, and wonder how we’ll get by without them.” – Jennifer Williamson
  • You have been there for me, no matter what bad choices I might have made… you lovingly repaired my broken spirit, helped me plot a new course, and set me free to fly on my own once again. There is no greater love than that. You will always be special to me, and no matter where life takes me, I’ll remember you with love. ~ Marilyn K. Deacon
  • Dad, wherever you are, you are gone but you will never be forgotten. ~ Conrad Hall
  • The loss of my father was the most traumatic event in my life – I can’t forget the pain. ~ Frank Lowy
  • Deeply, I know this, that love triumphs over death. My father continues to be loved, and therefore he remains by my side. ~ Jennifer Williamson
  • You will always be in my heart… because in there you’re still alive. ~ Jamie Cirello
  • “If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.” – Winnie the Pooh

We hope you’ve been inspired to find a meaningful way to express your gratitude to your father, whether on Father’s Day or any other day of the year. Have we forgotten your favorite Dad quote? Tell us about it in the comments!

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Famous One-Liners and Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

These Rodney Dangerfield quotes have remained famous for more than a decade, despite the fact that the legendary comedian has passed away.

What was it about Rodney Dangerfield that made him so popular?

Since the 1960s, when he started performing in clubs and comedy bars in New York, the standup comedian’s humor was mostly based on making fun of himself and his family. This made him very popular with his fans.

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Photo credit to Wikipedia

“I don’t get no respect!” was his most famous catchphrase, which he used in most of his jokes.

Here are 50 of Rodney Dangerfield’s most famous quotes and one-liners from his career as an actor and comedian that have endeared him to his admirers.

Don’t forget to check out our list of Ron Swanson quotes, as well as these entertaining and enlightening Dave Chappelle quotes.

Unforgettable Rodney Dangerfield quotes

1. “Boy what a hotel that was. Why, they stole my towel!” – Rodney Dangerfield

2. “For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.” – Rodney Dangerfield

3. “I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps … from moving cars.” – Rodney Dangerfield

4. “I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” – Rodney Dangerfield

5. “I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.” – Rodney Dangerfield

6. “I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.” – Rodney Dangerfield

7. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” – Rodney Dangerfield

8. “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” – Rodney Dangerfield

9. “I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.” – Rodney Dangerfield

10. “I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous. Everyone hasn’t met me yet.” – Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Rodney Dangerfield quotes

11. “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” – Rodney Dangerfield

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12. “I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.” – Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

13. “I went to see my doctor. ‘Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror… I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me?’ He said, ‘I don’t know but your eyesight is perfect.’” – Rodney Dangerfield

14. “It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.” – Rodney Dangerfield

15. “My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.” – Rodney Dangerfield

16. “My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah. My wife just broke up with her boyfriend.” – Rodney Dangerfield

17. “My mother had morning sickness after I was born.” – Rodney Dangerfield

18. “My uncle’s dying wish: He wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.” – Rodney Dangerfield

19. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!” – Rodney Dangerfield

20. “My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.” – Rodney Dangerfield

Also, check out these hysterical Steven Wright quotes that will make you laugh out loud.

Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield that will make you laugh out loud.

21. “My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.” – Rodney Dangerfield

22. “My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.” – Rodney Dangerfield

23. “My wife’s not too smart. I told her our kids were spoiled. She said, ‘All kids smell that way.’” – Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

24. “Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, ‘No, but I did get the license number.’” – Rodney Dangerfield

25. “Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.” – Rodney Dangerfield

26. “The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.” – Rodney Dangerfield

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27. “We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.” – Rodney Dangerfield

28. “What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm.” – Rodney Dangerfield

29. “What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.” – Rodney Dangerfield

30. “When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” – Rodney Dangerfield

You might also enjoy these Richard Pryor quotes, which highlight some of his most memorable and divisive moments.

Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield that will brighten your day

31. “When I was born, I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.” – Rodney Dangerfield

32. “When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, ‘I’m very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through.’” – Rodney Dangerfield

33. “A girl phoned me the other day and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.” – Rodney Dangerfield

34. “At twenty, a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy, he still wants to reform the world. But he knows he can’t.” – Rodney Dangerfield

35. “I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.” – Rodney Dangerfield

36. “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional. The knife had butter on it.” – Rodney Dangerfield

37. “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window, I hurt somebody’s fingers.”

38. “I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” – Rodney Dangerfield

39. “I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.” – Rodney Dangerfield

40. “I say ‘no’ to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, ‘no’.” – Rodney Dangerfield

Remember to read these hilarious John Mulaney quotes to brighten your day.

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Rodney Dangerfield’s other noteworthy quotes and sayings

41. “Life is just a bowl of pits.” – Rodney Dangerfield

42. “Marriage. It’s not a word. It’s a sentence.” – Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

43. “My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.” – Rodney Dangerfield

44. “My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.” – Rodney Dangerfield

45. “My wife’s cooking is so bad the flies fix our screens.” – Rodney Dangerfield

46. “On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.” – Rodney Dangerfield

47. “One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.” – Rodney Dangerfield

48. “When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.” – Rodney Dangerfield

49. “Yeah, I know I’m ugly. I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’” – Rodney Dangerfield

50. “There’s only one thing wrong with my wife’s face – it shows.” – Rodney Dangerfield

Have you seen Will Ferrell’s humorous quotes?

Did you find this Rodney Dangerfield quotes entertaining?

Rodney Dangerfield’s humor became well-known after he was invited to do his standup act on The Ed Sullivan Show in the late 1960s, which led to further invitations to perform in front of larger audiences at prominent venues in flashy Las Vegas.

Rodney Dangerfield’s celebrity landed him roles in films such as “Caddyshack” (1980), in which he co-starred alongside Bill Murray and Chevy Chase. Rodney Dangerfield’s famous quotes and one-liners have been standup comedy fans’ go-to material since then.

Rodney’s success as a self-deprecating comedian teaches us all a valuable lesson.

It’s important not to take ourselves too seriously. And, when life isn’t as great as we’d like it to be, it doesn’t harm to laugh at our bad luck, brush it off, and go on.

Which of these Rodney Dangerfield quips and quotes is your personal favorite? Do you have any more quotes to add to the list? Please share your thoughts in the comments box below.

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