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Strategies for Coping with the Grief During the Holidays

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Christmas Grief

During the holiday season, people and children struggle with a wide range of grief. There are children in foster care whose parents are still living, but they will not be able to see them on Christmas.

Because of years of abuse and the harm to one’s mental health, some family members refuse to speak to one another. For far too many people, death-related grief is a reality, and it exacerbates during the holidays.

There are parents who have lost their children, as well as young children who have lost their parents. Without their built-in companions, some siblings may stumble through the holidays. Couples are facing their first vacation without a partner they’ve known for years.

Each situation and person’s grief is unique, but if you’re mourning this holiday season, you’re not alone.

Christmas Grief

Dealing with the Christmas trauma’s spirits

I didn’t have a typical upbringing. When I was five years old, my mother and father split. He stayed in New York, and I didn’t hear from him until I was 18 years old.

Thirteen Christmases passed without him, and while he wasn’t dead, each one brought with it a sense of grief. My mother was a drug addict who couldn’t care for us or stay out of trouble with the law.

My mother rarely showed up on Christmas Day, and my sister and I ended up living with my grandparents. She’d say she’d be there, then fail to show up.

Children in these settings are dealing with trauma, and anything might trigger melancholy or inappropriate conduct. They aren’t always appreciative of their caretakers’ efforts to make the holidays enjoyable. It’s a dreadful catch-22 situation.

On one hand, people may be relieved that things are better than they’ve ever been. They’re warm, safe, and well-fed, and they’ve received presents for the first time.

That, in and of itself, elicits grief, as well as shame and fury. Why aren’t their parents concerned enough about them to provide for them? Who do these strangers think they are, trying to humiliate their parents?

On the other hand, they may come from a wealthy, abusive home, and their foster family falls short of their expectations. Even if they were abused by their parents, children are resilient and may perceive themselves to be in a worse situation.

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We make excuses for our horrible parents as tiny children because it helps us cope. For everyone involved, it’s a perplexing and unexpected moment.

If this is a problem you’re dealing with this holiday season, Tish Gallegos has some suggestions.

When it comes to Christmas traditions, she recommends telling the foster child about your family’s traditions and encouraging them to share their own with you.

If at all feasible, she also suggests including the birth parents. Also, keep things simple and keep an eye out for unhappiness and regression in the child.

Dealing with death during the Christmas season

When someone you care about dies, it’s difficult to remember why you’re meant to be cheerful, especially around the holidays.

My mother was placed in witness protection just after Christmas of my eighth-grade year. After I graduated from high school at the end of July, I was able to locate her and move in with her.

In a few days, I’d be celebrating my birthday with her, followed by Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We never made it to the holiday season.

She drove her work van off the side of a lonely Montana highway on December 3, 2001. The van rolled over her, breaking her waist because she wasn’t wearing a seat belt. She was said to have died instantly.

That Christmas season was marked by two funerals, one in Montana and the other in Florida, as well as yet another horrific dispute with my grandmother and a great deal of grief.

My twenty-year-old brother-in-law committed suicide on New Year’s Eve a few years later. My mother-in-law and husband have never greeted the New Year with enthusiasm in the last 15 years.

My father, with whom I reconnected following my mother’s passing, did not pass away during the holidays. My grandfather, who reared me, didn’t either. Their deaths occurred in May and August, but they have yet to be remembered over the holiday season. Those first vacations without them were unsettling to say the least.

Death is tragic, and grief comes in waves, but the holidays will never be the same when a loved one’s death anniversary falls on a holiday.

With a gaping wound in your spirit, how are you supposed to go on in any way that feels normal?

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Litsa Williams provides us with 64 helpful hints for dealing with grief during the holidays. My personal favorites are:

  • Make a holiday feast that includes one of your loved one’s favorite meals.
  • Attend a grief support group. When everyone is so giddy with holiday pleasure, it might be difficult to communicate to others who are struggling.
  • Let go of your perfectionism. Accept that this year may not be the year of the ideal tree, perfectly wrapped gifts, and faultless table, and that’s okay. For you type-As, I know it’s easier said than done, but give it a shot.
    If you’re worried about cooking the Christmas dinner this year, have someone else cook or buy it for you.

She recommends a variety of strategies for surviving the Christmas season’s grief, including celebrating in remembrance of a loved one or not celebrating at all.

If you need someone to talk to, another of her recommendations is to seek out a counselor. This is something I advocate, and if you’re having trouble finding one, take a look at this article.

The grief of missing those who haven’t passed away

If you’re coping with grief and can’t spend time with a loved one around the holidays for the sake of your mental health, you might want to see a therapist. This is another aspect of sorrow that is difficult to describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it.

This person is still living, and many people believe that not speaking to a family member is a personal choice that should be respected. It isn’t that simple.

Due to untimely deaths, I have lost both my birth mother and father. My father, who reared me, died of Alzheimer’s disease. I stood there watching him suffer, wishing that each day would be his last since it was so painful to see him deteriorate.

My grandmother is the last remaining parent figure in my life. We haven’t spoken in about a year, and our conversations were generally tense before that.

With the help of counseling, I understood that just because someone is family does not mean you have to put your mental health in jeopardy. You are not obligated to continue trying when another individual has subjected you to years of physical, mental, and emotional abuse and refuses to acknowledge their actions.

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But it comes with its own brand of grief. I recall having a good time throughout the holidays, but I also recall being struck by her. On Christmas Day, I fell into the dresser and sliced my eye.

I recall how much fun we had playing cards and games together. I recall her elaborate holiday dinners, as well as how meticulously she wrapped presents and decorated the tree. It’s difficult to forget that she was the only mother present at Christmas and the only mother who had never left me.

Mattie Quinn provides some insight into these feelings and how to cope with grief during the holidays. She reminds us that our emotions, as well as our instinct to defend ourselves, are both genuine.

Quinn suggests finding a coping method, such as blogging or composing a letter to an alienated family member (that you don’t have to send). If you’re the family member who has walked away from the relationship, a lot of her advice is spot on.

I’m aware that the other family member, in my instance, my grandmother, is grieving as well. She has no idea what she did or why she is spending the holidays alone.

I know she shares many of my joyful memories, but she denies that any of the unhappy ones really occurred. I’m sure that’s how she copes with her trauma.

I also know that her selfish mind will not allow her to see herself as the villain. This is why we don’t speak, not because of what happened in the past, but because any attempt to communicate would be fruitless.

Please know that you are not alone if you are experiencing grief around the holidays. If you need assistance, talk to a friend or a counselor.

It’s okay to feel every emotion you’re feeling if you’ve recently lost someone and this is your first holiday without them. It doesn’t get any easier, but time does have a way of shifting your viewpoint.

Please share your grief tale in the comments if you feel comfortable doing so. It might be able to assist someone else in getting through the holidays. Stay safe and healthy.

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Environmentally Motivating Jane Goodall Quotes

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Jane Goodall Quotes

Photo credit to Wikipedia

These Jane Goodall quotes will help you understand the relationship between humans and nature.

Jane Goodall is a renowned primatologist who has spent her life studying chimpanzees and the environment. Her words will change your perspective on animals, humans, and the state of the planet. Jane Goodall quotes highlight her groundbreaking research as well as her compassion for all animals. We now have a better understanding of how mankind is connected to nature as a result of her efforts.

How did Jane Goodall impact the world?

Jane Goodall has changed the world as an environmental activist and conservation leader. These inspiring quotes by the renowned primatologist will fascinate and delight you. Jane Goodall’s thought-provoking research has brought humans and animals closer together over the years.

Read her words of wisdom and advice to better understand your place in the natural world. Distribute these Jane Goodall quotes to anyone you know who cares about animals and the environment.

Don’t forget to look through our collection of climate change quotes for more ideas.

 

Jane Goodall quotes on the relationship between humans and nature

1. “Here we are, the most clever species ever to have lived. So how is it we can destroy the only planet we have?” – Jane Goodall

2. “I think empathy is really important, and I think only when our clever brain and our human heart work together in harmony can we achieve our full potential.” – Jane Goodall

3. “To me, cruelty is the worst of human sins. Once we accept that a living creature has feelings and suffers pain, then by knowingly and deliberately inflicting suffering on that creature, we are guilty, whether it be human or animal.” – Jane Goodall

4. “The greatest danger to our future is apathy.” – Jane Goodall

5. “What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” – Jane Goodall

6. “Let us develop respect for all living things. Let us try to replace violence and intolerance with understanding and compassion. And love.” – Jane Goodall

7. “If we kill off the wild, then we are killing a part of our souls.” – Jane Goodall

8. “Chimpanzees, more than any other living creature, have helped us to understand that there is no sharp line between humans and the rest of the animal kingdom. It’s a very blurry line, and it’s getting more blurry all the time.” – Jane Goodall

9. “To reconnect with nature is key if we want to save the planet.” – Jane Goodall

10. “You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you.” – Jane Goodall

Jane Goodall quotes to change your view of the world.

11. “I do have reasons for hope: our clever brains, the resilience of nature, the indomitable human spirit, and above all, the commitment of young people when they’re empowered to take action.” – Jane Goodall

12. “We have the choice to use the gift of our life to make the world a better place ― or not to bother.” – Jane Goodall

Jane Goodall Quotes

13. “In what terms should we think of these beings, nonhuman yet possessing so very many human-like characteristics? How should we treat them? Surely we should treat them with the same consideration and kindness as we show to other humans; and as we recognize human rights, so too should we recognize the rights of the great apes? Yes.” – Jane Goodall

14. “Only if we understand, can we care. Only if we care, we will help. Only if we help, we shall be saved.” – Jane Goodall

15. “Chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans have been living for hundreds of thousands of years in their forest, living fantastic lives, never overpopulating, never destroying the forest. I would say that they have been in a way more successful than us as far as being in harmony with the environment.” – Jane Goodall

16. “Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don’t believe is right.” – Jane Goodall

17. “If the factory farm does indeed unravel – and it must – then there is hope that we can, gradually, reverse the environmental damage it has caused. Once the animal feed operations have gone and livestock are once again able to graze, there will be a massive reduction in the agricultural chemicals currently used to grow grain for animals. And eventually, the horrendous contamination caused by animal waste can be cleaned up. None of this will be easy.” – Jane Goodall

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18. “We have so far to go to realize our human potential for compassion, altruism, and love.” – Jane Goodall

19. “What makes us human, I think, is an ability to ask questions, a consequence of our sophisticated spoken language.” – Jane Goodall

20. “Farm animals are far more aware and intelligent than we ever imagined and, despite having been bred as domestic slaves, they are individual beings in their own right. As such, they deserve our respect. And our help. Who will plead for them if we are silent? Thousands of people who say they ‘love’ animals sit down once or twice a day to enjoy the flesh of creatures who have been treated so with little respect and kindness just to make more meat.” – Jane Goodall

Don’t forget to read these Steve Irwin quotes to awaken your inner environmentalist.

Jane Goodall quotes to motivate you to make a difference

21. “Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference.” – Jane Goodall

Jane Goodall quotes

22. “One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun.” – Jane Goodall

23. “I’m always pushing for human responsibility. Given that chimpanzees and many other animals are sentient and sapient, then we should treat them with respect.” – Jane Goodall

24. “And if we dare to look into those eyes, then we shall feel their suffering in our hearts. More and more people have seen that appeal and felt it in their hearts. All around the world there is an awakening of understanding and compassion, and understanding that reaches out to help the suffering animals in their vanishing homelands. That embraces hungry, sick, and desperate human beings, people who are starving while the fortunate among us have so much more than we need. And if, one by one, we help them, the hurting animals, the desperate humans, then together we shall alleviate so much of the hunger, fear, and pain in the world. Together we can bring change to the world, gradually replacing fear and hatred with compassion and love. Love for all living beings.” – Jane Goodall

25. “I think the most important thing is to keep active and to hope that your mind stays active.” – Jane Goodall

26. “When you meet chimps you meet individual personalities. When a baby chimp looks at you it’s just like a human baby. We have a responsibility to them.” – Jane Goodall

27. “From my perspective, I absolutely believe in a greater spiritual power, far greater than I am, from which I have derived strength in moments of sadness or fear. That’s what I believe, and it was very, very strong in the forest.” – Jane Goodall

28. “People say maybe we have a soul and chimpanzees don’t. I feel that it’s quite possible that if we have souls, chimpanzees have souls as well.” – Jane Goodall

29. “If we do not do something to help these creatures, we make a mockery of the whole concept of justice.” – Jane Goodall

30. “Someday we shall look back on this dark era of agriculture and shake our heads. How could we have ever believed that it was a good idea to grow our food with poisons?” – Jane Goodall

Jane Goodall quotes to bring humans and animals closer together

31. “Each one of us matters, has a role to play, and makes a difference. Each one of us must take responsibility for our own lives, and above all, show respect and love for living things around us, especially each other.” – Jane Goodall

32. “All the time I was getting closer to animals and nature, and as a result, closer to myself and more and more in tune with the spiritual power that I felt all around. For those who have experienced the joy of being alone with nature there is really little need for me to say much more; for those who have not, no words of mine can even describe the powerful, almost mystical knowledge of beauty and eternity that come, suddenly, and all unexpected. The beauty was always there, but moments of true awareness were rare. They would come, unannounced; perhaps when I was watching the pale flush preceding dawn; or looking up through the rustling leaves of some giant forest tree into the greens and browns and the black shadows and the occasionally ensured bright fleck of blue sky; or when I stood, as darkness fell, with one hand on the still warm trunk of a tree and looked at the sparkling of an early moon on the never still, softly sighing water of Lake Tanganyika.” – Jane Goodall

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If you like these quotes, you should also read our collection of forest quotes about the beauty of trees.

33. “I like some animals more than some people, some people more than some animals.” – Jane Goodall

34. “Lasting change is a series of compromises. And compromise is all right, as long your values don’t change.” – Jane Goodall

35. “We are, indeed, often cruel and evil. Nobody can deny this. We gang up on each one another, we torture each other, with words as well as deeds, we fight, we kill. But we are also capable of the most noble, generous, and heroic behavior.” – Jane Goodall

36. “I don’t think that faith, whatever you’re being faithful about, really can be scientifically explained. And I don’t want to explain this whole life business through truth, science. There’s so much mystery. There’s so much awe.” – Jane Goodall

37. “Words can be said in bitterness and anger, and often there seems to be an element of truth in the nastiness. And words don’t go away, they just echo around.” – Jane Goodall

38. “You cannot share your life with a dog, as I had done in Bournemouth, or a cat, and not know perfectly well that animals have personalities and minds and feelings.” – Jane Goodall

39. “We have a responsibility toward the other life-forms of our planet whose continued existence is threatened by the thoughtless behavior of our own human species … Environmental responsibility ― for if there is no God, then, obviously, it is up to us to put things right.” – Jane Goodall

40. “And always I have this feeling ― which may not be true at all ― that I am being used as a messenger.” – Jane Goodall

Jane Goodall quotes to motivate you

41. “Cultural speciation had been crippling to human moral and spiritual growth. It had hindered freedom of thought, limited our thinking, imprisoned us in the cultures into which we had been born.” – Jane Goodall

42. “We find animals doing things that we, in our arrogance, used to think was ‘just human.’” – Jane Goodall

43. “And I thought how sad it was that, for all our sophisticated intellect, for all our noble aspirations, our aggressive behavior was not just similar in many ways to that of the chimpanzees – it was even worse. Worse because human beings have the potential to rise above their baser instincts, whereas chimpanzees probably do not.” – Jane Goodall

44. “There is a powerful force unleashed when young people resolve to make a change.” – Jane Goodall

45. “Most of us don’t realize the difference we could make. We love to shrug off our own responsibilities, to point fingers at others. ‘Surely,’ we say, ‘the pollution, waste, and other ills are not our fault. They are the fault of the industry, business, science. They are the fault of the politicians,’ This leads to a destructive and potentially deadly apathy.” – Jane Goodall

46. “But let us not forget that human love and compassion are equally deeply rooted in our primate heritage, and in this sphere too our sensibilities are of a higher order of magnitude than those of chimpanzees.” – Jane Goodall

47. “We still have a long way to go. But we are moving in the right direction. If only we can overcome cruelty, to human and animal, with love and compassion we shall stand at the threshold of a new era in human moral and spiritual evolution ― and realize, at last, our most unique quality: humanity.” – Jane Goodall

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48. “I became totally absorbed into this forest existence. It was an unparalleled period when aloneness was a way of life; a perfect opportunity, it might seem, for meditating on the meaning of existence and my role in it all.” – Jane Goodall

49. “The hardest part of returning to a truly healthy environment may be changing the current totally unsustainable heavy-meat-eating culture of increasing numbers of people around the world. But we must try. We must make a start, one by one.” – Jane Goodall

50. “The least I can do is speak out for those who cannot speak for themselves.” – Jane Goodall

You might also enjoy this environmental activist Edward Abbey quotes.

More quotes by Jane Goodall

51. “We can’t leave people in abject poverty, so we need to raise the standard of living for 80% of the world’s people, while bringing it down considerably for the 20% who are destroying our natural resources.” – Jane Goodall

52. “I think the best evenings are when we have messages, things that make us think, but we can also laugh and enjoy each other’s company.” – Jane Goodall

53. “Without patience I could never have succeeded.” – Jane Goodall

54. “Some people say… that violence and war are inevitable. I say rubbish: Our brains are fully capable of controlling instinctive behavior. We’re not very good at it though, are we?” – Jane Goodall

55. “It actually doesn’t take much to be considered a difficult woman. That’s why there are so many of us.” – Jane Goodall

56. “As thy days, so shall thy strength be.” – Jane Goodall

57. “That is our hope. Because if we all start listening and helping, then surely, together, we can make the world a better place for all living things. Can’t we?” – Jane Goodall

58. “You may not believe in evolution, and that’s all right. How we humans came to be the way we are is far less important than how we should act now to get out of the mess we have made for ourselves.” – Jane Goodall

59. “Any little thing that brings us back into communion with the natural world and the spiritual power that permeates all life will help us to move a little further along the path of human moral and spiritual evolution.” – Jane Goodall

60. “Nature can win if we give her a chance” – Jane Goodall

Which of these inspirational Jane Goodall quotes speaks to you the most?

Jane Goodall’s incredible insights will delight animal lovers and environmental activists alike. The well-known primatologist is known for her studies on chimpanzees and the impact of humans on the natural world. This collection of Jane Goodall quotes should have inspired you to do your part to save the planet. Anything is possible if we try our hardest and follow our hearts.

Climate change, pollution, and poaching are all having an impact on our planet. The quotes from Jane Goodall above should arouse your interest in the relationship between humans and the environment. Share these thought-provoking quotes with your friends and family to give them a fresh look at the state of the planet.

Which Jane Goodall quotes about nature, life, and love are your favorites? Tell us in the comments section below.

 

 

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Greek Mythology’s Medusa Quotes Regarding the Unusual Guardian

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Medusa Quotes

With the help of these Medusa quotes, you can decide whether she is powerful and dangerous, or beautiful and betrayed.

Medusa is one of the gorgons in Greek mythology. She was a protector, and unlike her family, she was beautiful and mortal.

According to legend, after a love affair with Poisedon, Athena transformed Medusa into a mythical creature with snakes for hair. Anyone who looked into her eyes was turned to stone.

According to legend, she was eventually beheaded, but her eyes retained the ability to turn people into stone and were used as a weapon.

Medusa Quotes

Medusa quotes about the legendary Greek guardian.

1. “You only have to look at the Medusa straight on to see her. And she’s not deadly. She’s beautiful and she’s laughing.” – Helene Cixous

2. “Beauty is that Medusa’s head which men go armed to seek and sever, and dead will starve and sting forever.” – Archibald MacLeish

3. “A beautiful mortal, Medusa was the exception in the family, until she incurred the wrath of Athena, either due to her boastfulness or because of an ill-fated love affair with Poseidon. Transformed into a vicious monster with snakes for hair, she was killed by Perseus, who afterward used her still potent head as a weapon, before gifting it to Athena.” – greekmythology.com

4. “You may gaze at her reflection in still waters of the lake, but don’t look at her directly or death will be your fate.” – Angel Witch

5. “In mythology, the Medusa can petrify people with a look – which is a good thing, I think. But the Medusa is a unique symbol – something strong. It’s about going all the way.” – Donatella Versace

6. “Medusa – whose name probably comes from the Ancient Greek word for ‘guardian’” – greekmythology.com

Medusa Quotes bygreekmythologycom

7. “Every part of her was still except her hair, which blew round her face in the damp night like Medusa’s serpentine locks rearing to strike.” – Katherine Pine

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8. “Medusa was fascinating to work with because I gave her a snake’s body so that she could pull herself with her hands which gave her a very creepy aura. I didn’t want to animate cosmic gowns. Most Medusas you see in the classics have flowing robes which would be mad to even try to animate.” – Ray Harryhausen

9. “She was usually represented as a winged female creature having a head of hair consisting of snakes; unlike the Gorgons, she was sometimes represented as very beautiful.” – Britannica

10. “Pegasus’s dad was poseidon, the god of the sea, and his mom was Medusa and evil Gorgon who had fangs and lizard skin and living snakes for hair. And you thought your family was weird.” – Evan Kuhlman

The Best Insightful Medusa quotes

11. “Margaret Thatcher has shown that there is power and dignity to be won by defying the status quo and the majority rather than by adapting to them. If the British left, which she froze into immobility like Medusa, could bring itself to learn from this, then we might not have to look upon her like again.” – Christopher Hitchens

12. “The look she gave him in reply would have petrified Medusa.” – Karsten Knight

Medusa Quotes

13. “The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly, that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.” – Ray Bradbury

14. “Writer’s block results from too much head. Cut off your head. Pegasus, poetry, was born of Medusa when her head was cut off. You have to be reckless when writing. Be as crazy as your conscience allows.” – Joseph Campbell

15. “The literary scene is a kind of Medusa’s raft, small and sinking, and one’s instinct when a newcomer tries to clamber aboard is to step on his fingers.” – John Updike

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16. “You cursed my soul, my mind is dead. Eyes like a weapon, snakes on my head. A priestess I was, the pride of Athena. Now I’m banned to live the life of a beast.” – Grave Digger

17. “You’re going native! Now, put down that ridiculous tray and help me kill this demigod. Or have you forgotten that he’s the one who vaporized Medusa?” – Rick Riordan

Other Medusa quotes

18. “If a woman shows too often the Medusa’s head, she must not be astonished if her lover is turned into stone.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Medusa Quotes

19. “Tom just stood there, sword in hand, a huge grin on his lips. He stared at Medusa and Medusa stared at him, and in this moment that made his dreams come true, Tom could only think of one thing to say.” – S.J. Kincaid

20. “Hey, Dad, can I borrow the severed head of Medusa tonight? I’m going out with my friends. Okay, honey, just bring it back by midnight, and don’t petrify anyone.” – Rick Riordan

21. “We must kill the false woman who is preventing the live one from breathing.” – Helene Cixous

22. “Fascinated by the glitter of gain, man gazes at the Medusa-like face of greed and stands petrified.” – Manly P. Hall

23. “I’ve been prepping for my role as Medusa.” – Joaquin Phoenix

24. “You’re probably wondering: why were Medusa’s kids a golden warrior and a winged horse? And how had they been stuck in Medusa’s body all those years? Heck, I dunno. I’m just telling you how it was. You want stuff to make sense, you’re in the wrong universe” – Rick Riordan

25. “To meet God or Medusa face to face, even if it means risking everything human in myself. I dream of a hard and brutal mysticism in which the naked self merges with the nonhuman world and yet somehow survives still intact individual, separate. Paradox and bedrock.” – Edward Abbey

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What did these Medusa quotes teach you?

Medusa is a well-known figure from Greek mythology. She has frequently appeared in films and television shows.

There’s just something about a woman with snakes for hair that draws people in and makes them want to see what happens. Furthermore, the ability to turn people into stone with simple eye contact is alluring.

However, myths and legends tend to evolve over time. Some versions of the story claim that Medusa, like her sisters, was a hideous beast from the start.

According to one story, when some of her blood was spilled on the ground, it transformed into venomous snakes and killed someone. Whether the story says she was born a beast or was transformed into one, her image is intriguing.

What is the most important thing you learned from these Medusa quotes and sayings? Tell us in the comments section below.

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Getting to Know the Stranger in the Mirror

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Stranger in the Mirror

Getting to Know the Stranger in the Mirror

Have you ever caught a glimpse of a woman and wondered, “Who is she?” Did your eyes catch sight of her? Was her image altered? How long did it take for you to realize the woman returning your look were you?

When I realized I didn’t know what I was doing,

I was married at an early age in 1989. In truth, I was only twenty years old, idealistic, and ready to devote myself to family life, or so I believed. And, like many others, I finally got disillusioned with what I originally thought was the proper path for me. There were times when I questioned the direction of my life and even wrote about it. Nevertheless, daily life gradually encroached on those fleeting moments of freedom—freedom to genuinely know myself. Many attempts to connect to life’s purpose left me fatigued in an endeavor to feel a part of something bigger than my little corner of the globe.

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Twenty years have gone. By 2009, I realized my life had changed drastically. From my perspective, everything appeared to have been designed by a stranger, and the lady attempting to live it was me. I felt disconnected from myself, my principles, and even my own identity. Many of us have similar experiences and are faced with the decision of remaining comfortably hidden or pursuing the path toward self-improvement and authenticity. Despite my desire for quick and painless remedies, my trip required several more years of my life. Underlying my dissatisfaction were two questions: “Who am I? Whose life am I living? Although the answers were unknown, finding them had become critical. As a result, I committed to the task regardless of how far I traveled or where I ended myself. Today, little remains of the lady who started this adventure.

Taking the first step toward better understanding oneself

Initially, I decided to start therapy, which prompted me to confront personal prejudices about who sought counseling. This first step called into question my belief that I was coping with life. I wasn’t. The truth was that after a lengthy history of undivided commitment to others, I had become emotionally bankrupt. Therapy eventually revealed the need to nourish myself, but it would not be easy after such a lengthy period of neglect.

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I started writing every day to explain and understand my road back to myself, which gave me strength on the hardest days. I took small steps ahead, resisting the old voices that beckoned my return. I realized that if I was unhealthy, nothing in my life could be healthy. So I persisted in my efforts to become the healthiest version of myself imaginable.

My body suffered as a result of the stress I was experiencing.

Regrettably, I was not only emotionally destitute, but also physically depleted and began to experience health problems. My mental and physiological stress responses were more pronounced, and my body became unable to manage itself. At the time, I was under the care of a holistic medical professional who initiated drastic dietary adjustments to address the physical imbalances. I cut off gluten, sugar, and dairy from my diet. I educated myself on healing nutrition, learnt how to find higher-quality foods, and learned how to prepare my own meals. I dropped weight quickly after changing my eating habits. Over the next few years, more than a hundred pounds vanished. My body gradually but steadily shed the protective coating I had been carrying for much of my life. As I lost weight, my body image and perception changed, revealing more of my genuine identity. My physical and emotional health were so intertwined that any change in either triggered and fueled a seemingly never-ending chain of events.

Pursuit of Happiness

Getting closer to the real myself by finishing what I started

In 2011, I returned to college to earn my degree in psychology and social work while supporting my mental and physical healing. I enrolled in an accelerated master’s program in clinical social work after finishing my bachelor’s program in 2013. Education provided me with an opportunity to explore new beliefs, values, and a new self-perspective. In many respects, the time I spent getting an education encouraged and strengthened me to change the direction of my life.

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Minor modifications that resulted in big changes

As I made small modifications, I was overwhelmed and disheartened by their size. Yet, there were some surprises along the road. I was instructed to compose my personal narrative when I first started counseling. Originally, the practice strengthened my comprehension of the details of my life, but it quickly expanded into much more. My creativity began to emerge as writing became a means of healing. I attended poetry readings on weekends, wrote on a regular basis, and experimented with poetry. When the voyage became too lengthy or desperate for me, poetry provided the solace I required. It communicated to me in a language that invited me to learn more about myself, and it did so without expecting anything in return.

Final Thoughts

These events have taught me to first know and trust myself in life. Every day, I learned more about my own identity, purpose, and voice. I began a completely new life. Everyone of us possesses untapped potential that is only waiting for the spark of growth. We all have the opportunity to become more authentic and live lives that truly reflect who we are.

I still have instances when my own reflection surprises me. I’m not sure who she is: the woman in the mirror. And then I realize she is exactly who she is meant to be.

 

 

Are you having fun reading the Daily Brightside? You might also love to read the following inspirational success quotes:

 


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